I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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