You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
