Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.