the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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