Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.