I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize