Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize