i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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