Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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