So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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