My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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