You smell like stripper and shame
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
