So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
