I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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