I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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