Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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