; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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