I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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