Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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