My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?