I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis