So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right