'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"