I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my liver is dry heaving
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad