wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
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You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.