sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.