I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
