I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
