I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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