kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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