so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This baby is an asshole
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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