Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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