dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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