Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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