that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You ruined the universe
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
