Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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