it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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