Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
did you just send me my own nude
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize