Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
