I could have mohawked her pubes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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