Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
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My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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