Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize