Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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