We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
