I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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