I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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