dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize