Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
