clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left