I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dignity is for republicans.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sorry about my life...