my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me