my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again