look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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