I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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