Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize