Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
