In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
